Social Dining Skills

Sharing a meal is one of the oldest and most popular ways to socialize. With the holiday season on the horizon, invitations to food-oriented events are bound to multiply. Developing a strategy for coping with social eating is key to maintaining your weight loss goals. 

How you handle dining out will be determined in part by what stage of weight loss you are in and the method you are using to lose weight. If you are following a full formula meal replacement diet, you will need to be creative to find ways to stick to it, despite the many food distractions. If you are in the transition or maintenance phases of your weight loss program, you have more dietary flexibility but still need to plan carefully. Gaining a significant amount of weight over the holidays can cause you to lose focus and regain the weight you have fought so hard to lose. The old cliché is true when it comes to dining out: an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Having a plan for coping with different dining situations can prevent a pound of weight gain.

‘I’ve eaten in some of the best restaurants in the country and still kept my lost weight off. The only dining out opportunities I decline are invitations to holiday cookie exchanges.’

-Sara, 5-year member of a weight maintenance program

General Advice

These tips can help you manage your food intake at all different types of events:

• Have a general eating plan. If you are on a full meal replacement diet, find a way to eat before and after a dining out event or bring your nutritional products with you. Explain to the waiter that you are following a medical program and ask him/her to bring you a glass and/or dish. If you are very self conscious about dieting and don’t want to call attention to your situation by bringing special foods, work with the weight loss program dietitian to identify foods you can eat at nearly any restaurant or hotel.
• If you are eating self-prepared foods, focus on small portions and ask the wait staff to bring your portions without added condiments like creamy toppings.
• Never arrive hungry. Many dieters say this advice seems counter intuitive. They feel it would make more sense to eat as little as possible before the event so they will have room in their calorie budget to eat the party food. While their plan makes sense in theory, it tends to backfire in practice. If you arrive at a social event famished, you are likely to overindulge in the first foods you encounter and once you’ve overdone it with one food, to keep right on munching.
• Avoid alcohol. Not only do alcoholic beverages pack a lot of calories, they also lower your inhibitions, making it more likely that you will end up eating foods you did not plan on. If you don’t want to call attention to the fact you are not drinking alcohol, ask for a sparking water or club soda with a twist of lime in it.
• If possible, sit or stand far away from the food.
• Focus on the people and other party activities instead of on the food.
• Practice a few polite ways to say ‘no’ to food ahead of time so they sound natural. For example, if someone insists you taste a food you do not want to eat, politely say, ‘Thanks but no thanks. Everything was delicious, but I can’t eat another bite.’

Situation-Specific Eating Strategies

Some social eating situations will be easier to control than others. For example, if your close friends or family members ask you to join them for a meal at a restaurant, you can probably have some influence over the choice of establishment. Suggest a restaurant where you know the menu and you feel comfortable making special requests. If, however, you must attend your company holiday party or receive a formal invitation from a friend, your defensive dining skills will need to be a bit more creative. Learn as much as you can about the event ahead of time since knowing what to expect can help you plan successfully.

Learn what type of food and food service to expect. Will it be hors d’oeuvres and cocktails? A buffet supper? A catered sit down meal with a set menu? Where will it be held?

Cocktails and appetizers is the easiest social dining situation to control. Arrive fed and keep your hands full. Hold a plate of raw vegetable crudités in one hand and a calorie-free drink in the other. That way it will be difficult to grab food off trays being passed by waiters, and other guests will be less likely to urge you to eat.

At a buffet, look ahead in line to see what types of low-calorie foods are available. Fill up on lowfat foods like fruits, raw vegetables with a tiny bit of dip, and lean proteins. Shrimp with cocktail sauce is a good low-calorie, lowfat choice. If you do not trust yourself to select wisely once you see tempting foods close at hand, ask a close friend or family member who is aware of your weight loss efforts to chose small servings of healthy foods for you. If you are following a full meal replacement program, bring a nutrition bar with you and get a calorie-free beverage. If fellow diners comment, simply say you are following a medical program (there is no need to explain it is a weight loss diet) and can’t eat typical foods right now. Then, quickly change the subject. Some people have found saying they must follow a special menu to control their blood sugar makes them more comfortable.

Sit down dinners with a set menu are the most challenging dining situation since they offer the least amount of control. Keep the bread and any plates of appetizers out of your reach. Ask the waiter or host (if you are dining at someone’s home) to eliminate the dressings and sauces from your portion of the meal, if at all possible. Politely refuse dessert. Put your fork down between mouthfuls of food and chew thoroughly. If you know the host well, inform her of your situation ahead of time. Reassure her that you know she is a wonderful cook, but that you are following a medical program for your health, and you need to be very careful about the foods you eat.

If you are invited to a friend or family member’s home, bring a healthy dish all can share. If they are aware of your situation, thoughtful hostesses will often include a lowfat dish in their meal plans. If you are following a strict meal replacement plan, let the hostess know you plan to bring your own meal.

Cynthia called the restaurant ahead of time and discussed her needs. She said she would bring her own foods with her. To her delight, the chef served her a bowl of plain chicken broth while her companions ate soup or salad. Her nutritional formula was served in a beautiful chilled glass with a strawberry on the rim, and the chocolate nutrition bar she brought along for dessert was placed on a doily on a small dessert plate.

If you will be ordering off a restaurant menu, look over the menu online ahead of time or call and ask how flexible the chef is about special requests. Clearly, you will want to avoid foods with names that include the words: creamy, fried, deep-fried, smothered, rich, super sized, etc. But even safe-sounding items like grilled fish can have hidden ingredients or be served in overly large portions. Many grilled items owe their moist, glistening appearance to a topping of melted butter. Some Asian dishes that don’t specify fried ingredients contain fried chicken or beef in addition to the stir-fried vegetables. Ask the waiter how the food is prepared and request changes if need be. Eat half the amount of food served. Take the remainder home for the next day. Doing so will make your food, dollars and calories spread farther, plus you’ll save time figuring out what to eat the next day. Most restaurants are very accommodating if they know ahead of time that you will be need a special meal or plan to bring your own foods. Be aware however, that there is often a small service charge for plates and beverages they may provide.

As with many other aspects of weight control, managing eating out gets easier with practice. The important thing is to go armed with knowledge and the courage to give it a try.